One big misconception widely prevalent is that personality is attractive appearance. We see a beautiful woman and exclaim: “What a personality!” We behold an attractive man and burst: “what a wonderful personality!” In both, we are referring to the physical attributes of the persons. In reality neither of them possesses a wonderful personality: What we are referring to is the bosom of the woman. True. In the case of the man, it may be his fair complexion or height. True. But that is not personality. We are referring to some part of the woman’s and the man’s personality.

Once One woman candidate, as she made her appearance, stunned me. It was her physical appearance. When we talked and drew her out, it was found that she was ‘ attractive’ so far as she did not open her mouth to let out her ‘knowledge’ of the subject!

Personality is not merely physical appearance; it is the totality of your being. This includes your physical, emotional, mental, intellectual, spiritual, economic and academic characteristics. The sum total of all these attributes makes ‘personality’.

Here’s another interesting, perhaps instructive story. Two rich men fell in love with a stunning beauty. Each went with a simple word or two of praise! The two pursued the beauty with gusto, waiting for her nod. The finale came when the beauty said, ‘yes’ to the man who praised her profusely, rejecting the one who loaded her with lavish gifts! The story has a lesson. Which personality is better, winsome, and comes out triumphant! Readers will willingly nod to stories that they have seen and known. ‘swans’ falling for ‘crows’ and vice-versa. Ask yourself how does it happen? And you get the answer he author is striving to give.

Sigmund Freud taught every person has a fundamental drive or source of energy called libido. Broadly speaking it is a sexual drive. The libido springs from the vast unconscious part of our mental life.

Our complete self includes the id, ego and superego. The id is our primitive animal nature located in the unconscious. Our rational self is the ego, which controls the id’s animal urges. Similar to conscience, the superego is a store of moral idea.

The superego and id are in continual conflict, which the ego tries to resolve. In a normal person the conflict is resolved successfully. As Freud traces personality development, a baby’s libido is undirected, and at four or five attached to and external object-one of his parents.

Social factors are the most important in shaping personality traits. First comes the family. Parents and home conditions mould the child in his early years. A congenial home atmosphere, with good relations between the parents and child, is essential for a well-adjusted personality. Ample evidence supports this. Cyril Burt, and English psychologist, found that 58 per cent of the delinquents he observed came from homes split by death, divorce or absence of one parent.

Antagonism between parents can disrupt a child’s personality too the child has a close emotional tie to each parent. Hence, their quarrels cause serious conflict in his own personality. Often the conflict leads to antisocial behaviour.

Freud pointed out that excessive parental tenderness ‘spoils’ the child with too much love and often leads to neurotic disturbances later. But others have found that neurotic behaviour results mainly from parents rejecting a child, not from excessive love, which merely encourages childishness.

Ross Stanger, a specialist in personality, reports that excessive punishment results in revolt or delinquency, possibly with outward submission but smouldering inward antagonism. All have bad effect on personality development.

What kind of teachers influence the intellectual, emotional, and social growth of the young?

Unfortunately, most teachers are not trained to deal adequately with pupils’ problems. Teachers consider sex offences, lying, cheating and truancy major problems. They do not think elusiveness and withdrawal very important.

Education affects attitudes, especially at the college level. Students tend to have more liberal social and economic views as they go through college.

Belonging to an unfavoured minority group may have considerable influence on personality. Dalits often reflect in their personality the prejudice and discrimination directed against them.

Personality development results from many influences. The temperament of an individual—that is his underlying energy and emotional tone—apparently is affected by his glands, nervous system, and other conditions.

An individual’s personality pattern, which includes traits, attitudes, interest, value, and ideals, is largely a product of his environment. The quality of home and family is of paramount importance, but school experience, friends, standing in the society and the whole culture pattern in which he lives also are significant.